The ‘Terrible Twos’? More Like the ‘Tiny Dictator’ Phase

Trust me when I say, it’s not just your toddler. Tantrums, hitting, biting, and screaming — while not our favorite parts of parenting — are actually normal parts of toddlerhood. Whether your little one is deep in the “terrible twos” or testing boundaries as a “threenager,” these behaviors are common. The good news? You can guide your child toward better habits. Even toddlers can start learning your family’s rules and expectations — and now’s a great time to begin.

 

Here are some common toddler behavior challenges — and simple ways to handle them when they pop up.

 

 

“No”

 

Remember when you couldn’t wait to hear your child’s first words, you know-when they couldn’t talk back? Now it might feel like their favorite one is “no!” Toddlers love testing their independence, and saying “no” is one way they explore their growing sense of control.

 

This stage is a normal and healthy part of development — your child is learning about boundaries, choices, and how far they can go. While it can definitely test your patience, you can reduce power struggles by offering choices (“Do you want the blue cup or the red one?”) and saving your firm “no’s” for the moments that really matter, like safety and routines.

 

 

Hitting, Biting, kicking; Oh My!

 

Aggressive behavior like hitting or biting is common for toddlers. They’re still learning how to express big emotions and don’t yet have the words or self-control to do it calmly. And they learn really quickly that if I hurt someone they typically back off, temporarily at least.

 

When this happens, try to stay calm — even when it hurts (we know it does!). Respond right away by removing your child from the situation and helping them cool down. Let them know it’s okay to feel angry or sad, but it’s not okay to hurt others.

 

Then, show them better ways to express those feelings: “I see you’re really mad. No biting — biting hurts.” Offer safe alternatives like biting a chew toy, tearing paper, or pounding Play-Doh to release their frustration.

 

 

Pulling Hair

 

Toddlers are curious little scientists — always testing cause and effect. When they pull someone’s hair and get a big reaction, they quickly learn that it works! Hair pulling often gives them a sense of control, something toddlers naturally crave. (Also, others tend to make funny sounds when their hair is pulled)

 

Your child might pull hair to get your attention, to protect a favorite toy, or to ask for space from a sibling. Understanding the “why” behind the behavior can help you respond calmly and guide them toward better ways to express what they need.

 

 

Running Like Their Life Depends On It

 

 

Toddlers love their independence — and sometimes that means taking off at full speed! While running away is a normal part of testing boundaries, it can quickly become a safety concern, especially near streets or in crowded places.

 

Give your child safe spaces to run and explore, like a fenced playground or an open field. Letting them take the lead in these environments can make them more likely to follow your directions when it really counts.

 

Before heading out, talk about expectations: “Remember, you need to hold my hand in the parking lot.” And when safety is nonnegotiable, strollers, carriers, or harnesses can provide extra security.

 

If your little one does dash off, try turning it into a game — a playful “You can’t catch me!” while moving in the opposite direction might just bring them running right back to you.

 

 

Ear Pricing Screaming

 

Has your home gotten a little louder lately? Toddlers love to test out their voices! Screaming is a normal part of development — it’s how little ones express big emotions when words just aren’t enough. Excitement, frustration, or even joy can all come out as one big “AHHH!” And again, it can be funny to watch others get scared.

 

While there’s no magic fix for a screeching toddler, you can try helping them name their feelings or channel that energy into something quieter. Turn it into a game — whisper and see if your child joins in (“Let’s play The Quiet Game!”).

 

Try not to raise your own voice to compete — that often makes the screaming worse. And remember, this phase won’t last forever! As your toddler’s vocabulary grows, the volume usually comes down, too. (Earplugs in the meantime are totally fair game!)

 

 

Terrible Tantrums

 

Ah, the classic toddler tantrum — a universal part of growing up. Tantrums usually happen when little ones are overtired, overwhelmed, or full of big feelings they can’t yet manage.

 

It might seem like they’re trying to get their way, but tantrums aren’t manipulative — they’re simply a sign that your child is struggling to cope. With time, patience, and comfort, your toddler will learn better ways to express those big emotions.

 

Knowing your child’s limits can go a long way toward reducing tantrums. Try to prevent meltdowns by keeping your toddler from getting too hungry, tired, or overstimulated — those are common triggers.

 

Celebrate and praise positive behavior, so your child learns that calm, cooperative moments are what get your attention — not tantrums.

 

Unfortunately, even with the best planning, tantrums will happen. When they do, stay calm and try gentle distractions or offer choices, like between two snacks or toys, to help your child regain control. Make it clear that hurting others or throwing things isn’t okay, even when they’re upset. You might say, “I can see you’re really mad. I’m here to help you calm down.” Stay close, but give them space to cool off.

 

And remember — this stage doesn’t last forever. Most children start having fewer tantrums by age 3 or 4. You’re doing great, even on the tough days!

 

 

Projectiles

 

Throwing is how toddlers learn about the world — gravity, sound, and cause and effect!  Offer safe items to toss (like soft balls) and set clear rules about where it’s okay to throw. Then join in for some safe, silly fun!

 

Let your toddler know gently that it’s never okay to throw things at people or pets, or to toss things when they’re upset. If they start throwing, try to redirect them first—and if they keep doing it, you can calmly take the toy away.

 

During mealtimes, stay nearby so you can step in quickly and guide them if they start to toss their food.