Managing Stress During the Holidays

 

From Thanksgiving to New Year’s, holiday traditions and big expectations can feel exciting and overwhelming. For many kids, especially those with sensory sensitivities, ADHD, anxiety, or autism, the change in routine can make celebrations stressful. A few small adjustments can make a big difference.

 

Parents of children with behavioral or sensory challenges often feel extra stress around the holidays. Large gatherings, bright lights, loud music, unfamiliar foods, and long breaks from routine can all be tough on kids.

 

But with realistic expectations and a few practical strategies, holiday moments can still be meaningful  even if they look different from the picture-perfect images on social media.

 

 

 

Interrupted routines

 

Add some structure. Look for local day camps, library story times, museum drop-ins, or short daily outings like a walk or playground visit. Even small, predictable activities help maintain a sense of routine.

 

Give advance notice. Let your child know early, around mid-December—that school will be closed and explain it in a way they can understand. This can prevent last-minute stress.

 

Use a visual schedule. Post a simple written or picture schedule on the fridge and review it often so your child knows what to expect. Surprises can be fun for some kids, but many neurodivergent children need predictability.

 

Keep bedtime consistent. Try to stick close to school-year sleep routines so the return to school isn’t a struggle. Special late nights, like New Year’s Eve, are okay as occasional exceptions.

 

 

 

Anxiety around extended family and visitors

 

Host if possible. Some families find it easier to stay home, where kids have familiar foods and safe spaces. If hosting feels overwhelming, ask guests to bring dishes or buy a few premade sides.

 

Plan ahead with the host. If you’re visiting, let the host know your child may get overwhelmed and ask where they can take breaks. Show your child the “quiet spot” when you arrive.

 

Time your arrival. Avoid walking in right after a long drive. Stop at a park or take a short break beforehand so kids enter feeling calmer.

 

Set expectations. Tell your child what you hope for based on their abilities, maybe greeting guests briefly or participating for a set time before taking a break.

 

Give warm-up time. Let kids ease in with a favorite object or activity, and don’t force hugs. A wave or high five is enough.

 

Schedule downtime. Follow busy days with quiet ones. Kids with autism or anxiety often need recovery time to avoid overload or burnout.

 

 

Picky eaters

 

 

Prep relatives. Let hosts and close family know ahead of time that your child has eating challenges. This reduces judgment and stops unhelpful comments before they start.

 

Bring their safe foods. Pack familiar items or a small bento-style meal. Hosts may offer to cook something special, but it’s fine to politely decline and heat up what you brought. Feeding your child beforehand can also help. Praise any willingness to try new foods, even tiny tastes.

 

Create a comfortable space. Big, noisy tables can be overwhelming. A kids’ table, quiet corner, or familiar plate and cup can make eating feel safer and more relaxed.

 

 

 

Sensory issues

 

Try a color theme. Instead of matching outfits, choose a simple holiday color scheme (like red and green or Hanukkah blues) and let kids pick comfortable clothes within it.

 

Choose soft, tagless fabrics. Prioritize cozy materials your child already tolerates. Many families find soft cotton or bamboo blends work best.

 

Let kids have a say. Show them a few options online and let them choose what feels good and still looks festive.

 

Layer for comfort. If dressier clothes are itchy or stiff, add a soft T-shirt underneath. Keep outfits cool and breathable to avoid extra sensory stress. Simple adjustments, like leggings instead of tights or a bow tie instead of a necktie, can make a big difference.

 

 

 

Traveling with kids

 

Holiday travel can feel overwhelming, especially for kids with sensory or behavioral needs, but planning helps.

 

Choose driving when possible. Many neurodivergent kids handle long car rides better than short flights because the environment is predictable. Break long drives into two days when you can. If you must fly, prep ahead and use airport-friendly strategies.

 

Make it meaningful. Turn the trip into a tradition;  play a simple car game, try a scavenger hunt, or pick a shared playlist to enjoy together.

 

Pack plenty of distractions. Bring small toys, crayons, comfort items, and favorite snacks. Relax screen-time rules; long trips are special occasions.

 

Build in movement. Take regular stretch breaks at rest stops so kids can run around and reset before getting back on the road.

 

 

 

Giving gifts

 

If your child doesn’t show big reactions to gifts  (or even rejects them) you can set everyone up for smoother moments.

 

Practice ahead. Role-play opening presents and saying “thank you,” even when the gift isn’t what they wanted. Let your child know they can talk to you privately later if they’re disappointed.

 

Be specific with relatives. Instead of general ideas (“something soccer-related”), share exact items or links so gift givers know what your child will actually enjoy.

 

Consider experience gifts. Museum memberships, sensory-friendly event tickets, or family outings often work better than wrapped presents kids may not open. Many families find that over time, their own holiday traditions naturally evolve and the pressure to have “perfect reactions” fades.