Teaching Turn Taking and Patience to Children

Teaching patience and turn taking at a young age can greatly improve your child’s ability to manage difficult situations as they get older. We all have had experiences in grocery stores or while in line for our morning coffee; coming across someone who has has little to no experience in patience. Being able to be patient and taking turns is just good social manners and a good way to show respect for other humans.

With littles it can take time to get the point across; they are much more interested in immediate gratification than others’ feelings (at least not until they get older). If you are a sibling you definitely know what I mean; there’s nothing like the feeling of having a toy you loved ripped from your grasp just because your sibling saw you playing with it (even though they hadn’t paid any attention to it for the last two days). So, here are some ways to encourage your little to wait their turn and learn to share with others:

Help teach them how to be flexible and find a solution

-Maybe your child want to play with something; having a plan to use it in the near future, but someone else is playing with it right now. Make a plan with the children about when the toy will be available.

Practice with your little on how to communicate about taking turns

-Have your child use their words when wanting to play with a toy that is already being played with. Teach them to ask politely if and when the toy will be available. You can work with your child, by acting out different situations: when someone doesn’t want to share or when a turn is taking too long.

Help Your child to explore their big feelings

-Talk with your child about how they are feeling; exploring why they feel that way and how others are feeling. Ensure that they know that feelings are always okay to have, that feelings are not “good” or “bad”. that they just are. However, it’s what we do with those feelings that matters.

Talk them through what happens next

-Help your child understand what happens after they ask for a turn with a toy and if the other child wants the toy back at a later time. Helping your child come up with a game plan and expectations everyone can help ease the tension.

Look for ways the kiddo’s can play together

-Maybe there’s a way that both children can play with the toy at the same time. Maybe they can bounce a ball back and forth, or race cars together. Help your child look for alternatives to appease both children if they are reluctant to relinquish their possession of the toy.

Help them understand unspoken clues 

-Help your child understand non-verbal cues to tell them that someone is done playing with a particular toy or having children communicate with their hands how long it will be before they are done with a toy (having children measure time using their arms, stretching them to show if it will be a long time or a short time to wait). While this is not an exact measurement of time, children can get an idea of how long they can expect to wait or if they would rather focus their attention elsewhere.