Tips for More Effective Parenting

Raising children can be one of the most fulfilling things you can do in your life; while simultaneously being one of the most frustrating, infuriating and hair pulling experience you will ever come across.

 

Build Your Child’s Self-Esteem

 

Boosting a child’s self-esteem starts in infancy; to help build it here are some tips:

Praise Achievements: Recognize their accomplishments to build pride no matter how small.

Encourage Independence: Allow children to complete tasks independently (well, when time and your sanity allows) 

Negative comments can harm self-worth. Avoid hurtful remarks and choose words carefully and showing compassion. Remind children that mistakes are part of learning and your love remains constant, regardless of their actions. 

 

 

Catch Kids Being Good

 

To foster positive behavior in children, focus on “catching kids doing something right” rather than criticizing them often.

Tips:

Compliment actions like making their bed or showing patience.

Positive affirmations encourage good behavior more effectively than reprimands.

Aim to praise your children daily with love, hugs, and compliments as impactful incentives.

 

Praising your children when they do even the smallest of tasks (especially when those tasks were completed of their own volition and not after asking them to do something a hundred times over) will promote your child’s sense of pride and in the long run will encourage them to continue to engage in good behaviors.

 

 

Being Consistent is Key

 

Establishing boundaries and maintaining discipline is vital for children’s growth; and your own sanity. Here are some tips.

 

Discipline guides children in making choices and developing self-control.

Household rules help children understand expectations and self-regulate.

Examples of rules:

No TV until homework is done.

No hitting or name-calling allowed.

Implement a structured approach: one warning, then consequences (e.g., time-outs, removal of a favorite toy or *gasp* having to go outside).

Consistency in enforcing consequences is crucial to avoid mixed messages. If your child is reprimanded only sometimes when they push their boundaries, they will continue to push their luck to see if they can get away with the behavior.

 

 

Sometimes All You Need is 10 Minutes

 

Finding time for family meals can be tough, yet children cherish these moments, when their nose isn’t pressed to a screen. Consider waking up 10 minutes earlier for breakfast together or enjoying a post-dinner stroll. When the only attention that a child gets is when they’re misbehaving then they will continue to misbehave; this kind of attention only reinforces their behavior. 

Establishing a weekly “special night” allows children to help choose activities like a game or movie night, or maybe the kids get to choose what they want for dinner. Even small gestures, like note in their  lunchbox will also build that bond.

 

 

Kids Are Always Watching

 

Young children learn behavior by observing their parents, so it’s vital to model the traits you want them to adopt. Before reacting negatively, consider if that’s the example you want to set. Research shows that aggressive behaviors in children often stem from their home environment.

To instill positive qualities like respect, friendliness, honesty, kindness, and tolerance, demonstrate these traits yourself. Engage in selfless acts, express gratitude, and treat your children as you wish to be treated.

 

 

Communication (Is Also) Key

 

Engaging children requires explanations and collaboration rather than mere assertions. Don’t get stuck in the “Because I said so” loop; kids are curios and want to know the “why” for everything. It’s vital to clarify expectations, address issues, discuss consequences, offer choices, and encourage input. By involving kids in decision-making, they are more motivated to come to their own decisions and understand the values behind their parents’ requests.

 

 

Know When You’ve Reached Your Limit

 

Embrace imperfection in parenting by recognizing your own strengths and weaknesses. Set realistic expectations for yourself and practice self-forgiveness. Simplify your parenting journey by focusing on key areas and taking breaks when feeling overwhelmed. Prioritizing your own well-being helps to teach your  children the value of self-care and how to engage in their own self-care when they themselves are overwhelmed.