Parenting Styles
No one parenting style is “right” and realistically parents don’t just parent with one style 100% of the time. What we know about parenting styles is that each style can affect children’s behaviors, self-esteem, relationships and academic success.
So, what are the styles?
There are 4 parenting styles that have been identified:
Authoritarian
Authoritative
Permissive
Uninvolved
Authoritarian Parenting
Key Concepts
Kids should be seen and not heard
Kids should follow my rules (“my way or the highway” thinking)
You don’t care to take your child’s feelings into consideration
“Because I said so” is your catch phrase
Parents who use this style enforce strict rules and expect their children should follow them without question. These parents aren’t particularly nurturing nor do they care to communicate other than to enforce their rules. These parents also don’t hesitate to enforce punishments when their rules are broken.
Children who are raised by an Authoritarian parent may be more prone to rebel when outside of the home. They may also struggle with low self-esteem, making decisions on their own, hostility/aggression towards others.
Authoritative Parenting
Key Concepts
Parents value in creating and maintaining positive relationships with their children
Parents explain the reasoning behind their rules
Parents have set limits and rules, and enforce punishments when those rules are broken. However, you take your child’s feelings into account and help them understand
Parents tend to use positive reinforcement strategies such as: praise and rewards.
The Authoritative parent sets rules and follows though with punishments, but also allows their children to make their own decisions. These parents will validate their children’s feelings, but also making sure that their child is clear on why they are being punished. Mistakes are not viewed as a measure of a child’s worth, instead mistakes are viewed as a learning opportunity. These parents encourage and foster responsibility and discipline in their children.
Children under an Authoritative parent tend to be happy and successful overall. They are able to make their own decisions easily because they have a history of decision making. The child parent relationship tends to be close, nurturing and respectful.
Permissive Parenting
Key Concepts
Rules are set, but rarely enforced by the parent
Consequences for breaking the rules are not often followed through
Parents think that their child learns better without inference from them
Parents let their children do whatever they want
This parenting style is lenient and permissive and only get involved if their is a serious issue with their children. Often times these parents have the “kids will be kids” mindset and tend to be more friendly towards their children than a parental figure. They will easily cave when their children ask for privileges back with the promise of being good from now on, even though history has probably proven otherwise.
Children raised by a Permissive parent tend to act entitled and privileged. They may not put much effort into school or employment, they tend to be impulsive and lack responsibility. Children my also develop medical issues like obesity due to their parents not placing on any limits on their children.
Uninvolved Parenting
Key Concepts
Parent’s don’t ask their children about their day, friends, homework, etc.
Parents don’t know where their child is most of the time or who they are with
These parents don’t spend much time with their children
There are not many rules or expectations
Realistically, these parents ignore their children while they go about their life. Children of uninvolved parents don’t get as much nurturing, guidance or rules and are more or less left to raise themselves. A lot of the time, Uninvolved parents don’t put much effort into their child’s development and may be out right neglectful (even if it isn’t intentional).
Children raised by Uninvolved parents tend to have higher rates of substance use, more law enforcement contact, lower cognitive functioning and poor emotional awareness in themselves and others.
Like stated earlier, most of the time parents don’t follow one parenting style 100% of the time. We have things going on in our lives that can impact our ability to be present and our parenting style can ebb and flow with how we’re dealing with the world around us. The “Gold Standard” parenting style that is recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics is the Authoritative parenting style.