Dealing With Unsolicited Parenting Advice

If you’re a new parent or soon-to-be parent, or even if you been a parent for a while you may often get unsolicited parenting advice from those with or without kids. While their “advice” may be based on good intentions, it often times comes across as “you’re not parenting right, this is how you should do it”.

-(Try To) Accept the Advice at Face Value

-It’s okay, take a deep breath, they’re just trying to help. Most advice is made because the person is attempting to help, not be passive aggressive.

-Trust in Yourself

-You know your child best; if someone provides a piece of advice that doesn’t resonate with you it’s perfectly okay to ignore it. Your parenting style is not going to be the same as the next person, nor are your children the same as anyone else’s children. There is no one-size-fits all on parenting.

-Boundaries, Boundaries, Boundaries

-If the unsolicited advice is a reoccurring issue and it continues to be less than helpful, don’t be afraid to set boundaries. You can let them know, that while you appreciate the sentiment, their advice doesn’t really align with your own parenting style or that you are trying to figure out parenting on your own. Being clear about your feelings can help limit or eliminate all unsolicited advice while still preserving the relationship.

-Share Your Thoughts

-If someone presents you with some advice that is less than ideal, provide your own opinion on the topic and how it works for your child. This can show the person who is offering advice that you are confident in your parenting and can open the conversation up to discussing (potentially) more constructive topics.

Managing unsolicited parenting advice can sometimes feel like a guest who won’t take the hint that their invitation has long expired. Taking each piece of advice in stride reminding yourself that it’s most likely provided with good intentions while also setting your boundaries can help ease the ever present annoyance that accompanies this kind of advice. Most importantly: focus on what works for you and your family, because you’re the one who know them best.